Strength is in the eye of the beholder

My sister in law sent me a text today. It said " A strong person know how to keep their life in order. When with tears in their eyes, they still manage to say 'I'm OK' with a smile."

Now, this was a forward and I am sure she sent it to others as well. But this text, about strength, got me to thinking. What defines Strength. It really has some many different variances and each person has a different view as to what 'strong' really is. I am not talking about brute, mr universe strength. I am talking, emotionally standing when your world is crumbling all around you strength.

I have always prided myself as being a strong person. I guess I thought that showing emotion was a sign of weakness. I know my parents and siblings might disagree with this as they depict my childhood as that of a crybaby. I guess as I got older, I felt that in order to be treated as an adult I would have to act as one. I now realize that crying is not a sign of weakness. My aunt told me that she heard tears are a buffer from the pain. (or something to that affect). I liked that very much because I had LOTS of buffer! I can cry at the drop of a hat now. Does this make me strong or weak? I think a little bit of both.

I want to convey to you today that strength, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Sure there are some universal ideas about being a strong person. But in general, what you might deem as weak, others might think as stronger than they could ever be.

listed below are just some ideas of what I think strong really is......you might disagree or agree. All I would like to do is to open your minds a little bit. Know that maybe, just maybe, when you think someone is being helpless....that they are being as strong as they know how to be.

Examples of Strength

• Walking away from almost all of your friends because they dont appreciate or love you the way you need to be loved.
• Staying with someone who does not love you the way you need to be loved because it is the right thing to do
• Admitting that you need medication
• Admitting that you are an addict
• Confronting those who have wronged you
• Not saying anything to those who have wronged you
• Confessing the wrongs you have done to people
• Confessing who you really are
• Telling your parents they are wrong
• Admitting you are wrong
• Watching a loved one die, slowly, and knowing you cant do anything to save them so you make sure they are never alone and as comfortable as possible.
• Experiencing loss without losing your mind
• Crying when you are sad, happy, mad
• Watching a person go down the wrong path and not being able to do anything about it
• Seeing your loved one, strung out, and pleading with them to just get help.
• Driving with a teenager
• Going to docter with your newly diagnosed spouse and letting them cry on your shoulder
• Telling someone it will be ok, when you dont know yourself if that is true
• Holding your child, who is sick or hurt, and smiling through the tears
• Telling your child no
• Telling your child yes to something that you know will never work out for the good, but you know they must learn on their own.
• Watching your child mess up and still loving them unconditionally
• Accepting those who might not do things that you agree with but loving them anyway
• Seeing someone who has wronged you beyond anything thought imaginable and smiling and saying hello
• Forgiving those who have wronged you
• Enduring abuse so grave that you never thought you could get through it, but you did
• Watching your children make wrong decisions
• Accepting yourself and loving yourself
• Acknowledging that you need to change and then changing
• Loving those who hate you
• Controlling your past, and not letting it control you

Sometimes we forget that everyone is fighting a battle. Everyone has struggles.Whether they handle things the way you would have, they are handling them. If you see someone who is smiling, and you know that they just lost their spouse, then you are staring strength right in the face. If you see someone who has just finished rehab, you are staring strength right in the face. If you see someone who looks happy, but they are completely depressed on the inside, you are looking at strength. I have my own ideas of what makes someone strong. I have experienced things, endured things, put myself through some things that I feel have helped me be a stronger person. I will never regret these things.